No credit crunch worries Michael Martin, the Commons Speaker, who, I am told, is sitting on two enormous nest eggs - courtesy of the ever-generous taxpayer. Apparently they represent a combined pension pot of more than £1.5m. What is more, the government is happy to fireproof Mr Martin against reforms that might threaten his luxurious old age.

Mr Martin, known to MPs as Gorbal Mick (so unkind) is embroiled in controversy over MPs' pay and perks. Reports suggest that the Commons committee on MPs' pay, which Mr Martin chairs, is thinking of demanding a £13,000 rise in basic pay plus an automatic lump sum of £23,000 a year in lieu of their current expenses (sometimes known as Mickey Mouse money, as in: "I used the Mickey Mouse to pay my gardener, window cleaner, insurance premiums" etc, etc). Less attention - and therefore less outrage - is focused on MPs' pensions, such as Mr Martin's. The Speaker, with the prime minister and the lord chancellor - currently Jack Straw - are all entitled to a pension of half their final salary. It is not based on length of service and they can start drawing it as soon as they stand down - no need to wait until 65.

In January the government announced plans to end these special arrangements for the PM and the lord chancellor, so they would receive the same pensions as other ministers. Yet strangely it said it was not planning to change the rules for Mr Speaker. No reason was given and the decision seems to have escaped all scrutiny. What it means is that, when Mr Martin gives up his post, he will receive a Speaker's pension of £38,000 a year - half his current £76,000-a-year salary. John Ralfe, a pensions consultant, tells me this represents a pension pot of £760,000 - apparently you multiply the pension by 20 to find the size of the pot. On top of this, Mr Martin will receive an ordinary MP's pension - he will have been in the House for 30 years next year - which Mr Ralfe reckons will give him another £760,000 pot bringing in another £38,000 a year. A case of I'm alright, Jock?

Official gossip

As troubles rain down upon the government, officials are feeling bemused. "It's headless chicken territory for ministers," said one insider. "Gordon rushed out his Queen's Speech plans, which was a mistake because it means we're now stuck with a load of legislation that nobody really wants." Officials are seeking relief from the gloom in gossip. "Civil servants love the kind of fun and frenzy that's going on now - wondering whether ministers like David Miliband or James Purnell will stay loyal or throw their hats in the ring - though both are really too young and raw."

Alan Johnson, the health secretary, has ruled himself out of being PM - he has said publicly he does not think he is up to it. Yet some say he is doing an excellent job at health - which is puzzling as not much seems to be happening there. "Exactly," said one senior figure. "He's charming, well liked and he has the ability to put a blanket of assurance over everything. Yet he's also extremely secretive - no U-turns from Alan - and he doesn't actually do much." Well, not in public. Apparently Mr Johnson has been backpedalling furiously over plans for polyclinics, which he is now calling health centres. Back in 1956, amid fears about National Health Service waste, the idea of health centres was mooted. An official report found they created as many problems as they solved.

Back scratchers

Cherie Blair's much vilified autobiography shows clearly that husband Tony always had an eye to the main chance. She reveals that the couple agreed to go on a personal overnight visit to the villa of Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister, only because Tony felt "if he played his cards right there was a good chance" of getting Italy's three votes for the Olympics to be in London. "Bugger the opprobrium," said Mr Blair when Downing Street warned of bad publicity - rightly as it turned out, because the Italian PM turned up in a bandana that "had foolish photo potential written all over it". Mr Berlusconi promised nothing but said he would do what he could. Says Cherie: "Silvio Berlusconi is a man who does what he says he will."

Proper toffs

Timpsons, family company of Tory Crewe and Nantwich by-election winner Edward Timpson, is among those that have made the Best Workplace rankings for five consecutive years. Truly upper class!

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